Song Diary 1 (2007-2010)
TRACKLISTING
- Anything for Myself
- Dee-Dee
- Gotta Do This and That
- SLip
- In the Way
- Apple Crumble
- In Your Head Some More
- Let Your Girl
- Normal
- The Core
- Raining Lives
- Love Is So Much Fun
- Time Tick Tocked
- Terror In The Tin
- You're My World
- We're Working On It
- Magic Carpet Ride (Demo)
- Deliver This Envelope
- Here's to Hoping for the Best
- It's True
- Whatever's the Matter (Soundscape)
- Early Morning Song
- Slow Down
- Hold On
- Unscrew Me
- Loveliest Friend
- This Dung (Demo)
- Me In Yours, Darling
- Wet Paws Do Dry
THE STORY
Releasedate 26th July, 2024
With it's 29 songs Song Diary 1 is really a diary of moments. These songs were written in earlier days and recorded in Elly's homestudio from 2007 until 2010. In 2023 Elly began to review all the old material and remixed the songs no-one's ever heard before.
The full album is available via all streaming platforms.
CREDITS
All songs written and performed by Elly Kellner
Mixed & mastered by Elly Kellner
Produced by Elly Kellner
Elly Kellner 4-string guitar, 6-string guitar, vocals, backingvocals, percussion, bass guitar
LYRICS
Anything for Myself
I clear myself again, I knew I couldn't keep anything to myself
I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, but I just forgot
Shut your mouth, you pretty girl
When he comes around you didn't eat that much
Sweet lies just to make you feel ok
I know why
I know why
This little boy sold all the love he ever felt
He took his little toy and threw it down the stairs
I didn't know in the beginning it's an addiction
To tell them those big secrets while they laugh behind my back and yes
I know why
I know why
I can't keep anything to myself
I wanna trust you all
It's alright, she apologized
You can sleep, she hopes that's what he'll say
That he'll understand and he doesn't mind
She sees what's happening and that is enough
The next time I can keep it to myself
Dee-Dee
I'm not driving around to follow you Dee-Dee
I'm just living the life, you're just always there
I'm not tracing your movements, to see if you saw me
I'm just feeling the feelings and I feel I still care
And you're always there
But I'm not running the horses, to make sure I will catch up
I am moving around to find my own place
I'm not spying on you, or trying to interrupt
I'm just looking around and I keep seeing your face
And it seems in place
And I smile a bit and I say hello
Thinking, she is there, is it so
That my thinking's done the greatest part
Makes her show up many places
And it fills my heart
Still got that picture of you
With all I think you are
And I smile a bit and I say hello
Thinking, she is there, is it so
That my thinking's done the greatest part
Makes her show up many places
How it fills my heart
Still got that picture of you
With all I think you are
Gotta Do This and That
He had time but he never cared to use it
He had faith but he lost it on the way
Now he's tired and rushing as his life goes by
Now he's worried all day, 'cause he
Gotta do this and he gotta do that and he gotta do too much
And he gotta live life, and he gotta get wife, as he's losing touch
And he gotta be quick and he gotta be square and gotta get around
And he gotta breathe out and he gotta breathe in
And hope that he'll be found
Used to walk in fields among the flowers
Used to cycle, stop and look up to the sky
Now the challenge is to find himself a taxi
Get to the airport and fly, 'cause he
Gotta do this and he gotta do that and he gotta do too much
And he gotta live life, and he gotta get wife, as he's losing touch
And he gotta be quick and he gotta be square and gotta get around
And he gotta breathe out and he gotta breathe in
Hope that he'll be found
Had a girl but he didn't pay attention
To her beauty back then when he was young
He remembers how she used to lay in his arms
Peaceful days, but that's all gone, 'cause he
Had to do this and he had to do that and he had to do too much
And he had to live life, had to get wife, as he lost touch
And he had to be quick and he had to be square and he had to get around
He had to breathe out
He's finally found on the ground
Laying on his back
Had a heartattack
Slip
I had that voice once when I was so little
I had my days when I layed on your rooftop
He, he knows everything, G he also knows you
He knows everything and I thought I knew him
I felt the hands, push it into my flame
And I won't feel a thing, damn you
Didn't try, you just went on
And made my eyes long for
Him, he knows everything, G he also knows you
I thought anything would pass if he could
All your hands and fingers, all your slimey things
All your love, all your hatred
Made a girl ruin her own world
Your peace, hey I don't know where it went to
It ain't funny no more, you were the thing
And you try to, try to, try to, try to make me feel again
Well I won't, but I'll
I
How you made me slip
And everybody's happy, everybody's free
And everybody's winking at the flower
That once belonged to me
In the Way
I daresay I gave you too much
And everytime we touched
I only wanted the best for you
I daresay I might be naive
'Cause I truly believed
Only I am the best for you
But there are other skies for you, to look at
And clouds drifting by can make you forget
That at some point you liked me too
In the way, I do you
I daresay we had real good times
And I hope you're fine
I only want the best for you
I daresay I'll take my freedom
Write another song
While I only want the best for you
And if in the tall grass, boy you'll lay
Maybe you will see me drifting by
And remember, you liked me too
In the way, I do you
Apple Crumble
Life, this is it
You bake a cake, you like the taste
But not everyone likes it the way you do
You can't fit every shoe
Can't please everyone
For when they are gone
You're left with the crumbles
Apple pie, apple crumble
Life is yummy, my tummy rumbles
My apple crumble's vaguely interesting
The rotten apples I threw out
The sugar's sweet of life's mysteries
Another piece, make it a big one
I'm allowed
Life, this is it
You play the game, to win's your aim
But not everyone plays it the way you do
Can't cheat your way through
Can't beat everyone
For sometimes you're wrong
Don't break into pieces
Peace man, a bad loser
Should, huff and puff on a peace pipe
My apple crumble's vaguely interesting
The rotten apples I threw out
The sugar's sweet of life's mysteries
Another piece, make it a big one
I'm allowed, I'm allowed
Another piece of cake, I'm allowed
Another piece of cake, I'm allowed
In Your Head Some More
No worries, I'm ok, gentle also honest
I would love to stay in your head some more
You're working many hours
Listening to the sounds I love
Me, I'm counting those hours
They go on and on and on and on
Be yourself my love, you are perfect
Just the way you are is ok
But smile some more my love
I find you attractive
If you had the urge to run and hide
I'd begg you to stay
If you were a piece of chocolate
I would save you for the rainy days
If you needed the embrace
I would hold you in my arms
And if you wouldn't mind me staying
I'd stay always
Let Your Girl
Let your girl storm off into the rain
Let your girl run off, never see her again
You broke her heart
Let your girl scream like a banshee in the night
All she wanted was for you, to hold her tight
That was all, it was all
Doggy we go walking, without a leash, we don't need a leash
Wasn't much to ask
Let your mind wander, move onto the new
Let your mind ponder, why she isn't with you
You broke her heart
Let your mind freeze when you realize
You have caused the pain in her eyes
Let the flame die out, it don't mean a thing
Let the flame vanish, nothing more than a fling
Let the flame leave you even though it was there
Pull back in silence, pretend you don't care
You don't care
Doggy we go walking, without a leash, we don't need a leash
Doggy we go walking, without a leash, we don't need a leash
Doggy we go walking, without a leash, we don't need a leash
Doggy we go walking, without a leash, we don't need a leash
Let your girl storm off into the rain
Let your girl run off, never see her again
Never see her again
Never see her again
Missing you already, such a silly thing
Missing you already, such a pretty thing
Missing you already, such a silly thing
Missing you already, you're my pretty thing
Normal
I've got my words and I've got my smile
Can take me far, a little while
But not too long, a mask can't last
My sociability may fade fast
I don't understand so why should you
No use investigating what and how I do
All I know is things seem better in a way
But at the same time, I'm off much worser today
So how come we never notice anything
How come when we see you, you are well
Well, you won't see me the weeks when I'm hiding
Regenerating in my own shell, hell
Handicapped, some say
Psychologically not ok
But how come you look so normal, normal
Arms, legs and a heart
And you seem really really smart
Nothing's wrong with you, you're normal, normal
But a broken heart and head are hard to mend
I've got my hurt and my guitar
Combine the two and you've got a star
But a star to be, can't follow her fate
If she can't even stand straight
I try to say no, don't you push me through
I can't live, the way you do
I need space and I need time
I need a place to call mine
How come you seem strong and so able
How come we all don't have a clue
Well the days I experience in silence
My good days I save up, to spend with you
Handicapped, some say
Psychologically not ok
But how come you look so normal, normal
Arms, legs and a heart
And you seem really really smart
Nothing's wrong with you, you're normal, normal
Handicapped, some say
Psychologically not ok
But how come you look so normal, normal
Arms, legs and a heart
And you seem really really smart
Nothing's wrong with you, you're normal, normal
But a broken heart and head are hard to mend
The Core
Waiting for the rain to come down
Waiting for the sky to burst
Remembering your face, its frown
I'm letting go of all the hurt
Waiting for the tears to dry
Waiting for my sun to shine
I handed you the core of me
Now you've given back what's mine
Waiting for the rain to come down
Waiting for the sky to burst
Remembering your face, its frown
I'm letting go of all the hurt
Raining Lives
Fifteen years wasted
A whole life thrown away
Yeah I'm young, yeah I'm strong
But does it help me
It may be that I died because I love you
I didn't want to feel no pain
Maybe I was the only one to agree deep inside
I wasn't looking for someone to blame
Do you remember I cried
Do you remember the pain
Do you remember the day that I died
It must have been raining
And little, little girls love their father
They long to be around their dad
Even though daddy is not like that, I love him
Who would want to change that
Fine it is to not live in this world
To walk around and to not see
That it's raining lives
It's raining lives
From your bloody sky lord
Do you remember I cried
Do you remember the pain
Do you remember the day that I died
It was raining lives
Love Is so Much Fun
For the 23rd time
I told you: do what you gotta do
After all it's up to you
If you wanna see me or you don't
It's all priorities
And ranking on your list
On yours I don't excist
But I guess I won't die
But I'll hurt
And I'll cry, my heart, my poor heart
I wanna be your number one
Yeah, I'll hurt
Oh, love is so much fun
For the very first time
I thanked the sky for what I've got
Although you I have not
I'm still blessed I guess
And my priorities
I wrote them down on my list
On which you don't excist
And you can guess the reasons why
'Cause I'll hurt
And I cry, my heart, my poor heart
I wanna be your number one
Yeah I hurt
Oh, love is so much fun
Here I got it, crumbled up inside my palm
Goals and wishes, all belong to me
Here I got it, to remember I am strong
I am my own number one
I am my own number one
But I still hurt
And I cry, my heart, my poor heart
I wanna be your number one, yeah I hurt
Oh, love is so much fun
Time Tick Tocked
Polishing our spoons
Till they shined oh so bright
Polishing our spoons
Like mirrors in the night
I could see myself in you
All reflective and so true
They felt like happy spoons to me
But you didn't want me to be
A mirror to you
Such a pity, such a shame
And you know no-one's to blame
I am still in love with you, you know that
Such a waste and such a crime
You and me, we had good times
But time tick tocked
And I have to go away
Holding out our spoons
Lay 'm down in the bed
I remember when we layed like spoons
I remember everything you said
I could be content with us
I was happy, I made no fuss
I thought we'd fit perfectly
But you didn't want me to be
A mirror to you
Such a pity, such a shame
And you know no-one's to blame
I am still in love with you, you know that
Such a waste and such a crime
You and me, we had good times
But time tick tocked
And I have to go away
Terror in the Tin
Terror in the tin
Terror in the tin
Terror in the tin
Terror in the tin
You can hold me (terror in the tin, terror)
You can hold me (terror in the tin, terror)
You can hold me (terror, terror)
You can hold me (terror)
Love, I am only human
Love, I am only me
Terror in the tin
And all that love, love, love still remained
Spoonfed hatred
But still love it flows from me
Like a child, like a child
You can hold me
You can hold me
You can hold me
You can hold me
Love, I am only human
Love, I am only me
Bottle up the fear
And here's another year, but I still have love
Spoonfed hatred
But love will always come from me
Like a child, like a child
If nothing's what I'm having I'll be
Happy either way
You can hold me
You're My World
So I wrote the song
Full of love, full of faith
Nothing would ever take away
The fact that's It's All Good
No hunters could tear our love down
You decided full of passion or shit
There couldn't be a future in it
Is it so fucking hard to divide your time
Between two hundred sheep and a girl
You said was so fine
You're my world
You're my dreams
Even though it may seem
We don't spend that much time
I need you to remain mine
I can't lay me down
Not without a fight
I'll give it my all, I try as I might
March towards to the top, singin my sad refrain
My love will always remain
You're my world
You're my dreams
Even though it may seem
We don't spend that much time
I need you to remain mine
We're Working on It
I see Joan's alone half of the time
Yeah, she's so lonely
But she never moans on the phone
She hides it all from me
And I myself ain't right or bright all the time
But I'll keep a straight face or a smile
You see the better part of me
Half the world is just as distressed as me
But honestly, we're working on it
I saw that Curt was hurt many a time
By some old girlie
So now he fills himself with largers
Just so that no-one will see
And I myself ain't clean of hiding from the pain
With a broken heart it just ain't the same
I lost a part of me
And half the world is just as distressed as me
But hey, the fairies, are working on it
People gather round I say
I can't fix you up today
But I'll lalala
Never mind the shit you're in
You'll feel a bit better if you sing
Lalala Lalala
I know Phil is ill most of the time
Hell he's only three
But like a good dog he doesn't show
Like he's protecting me
And I myself ain't strong or wise all the time
Yeah, I assure you, this ol' mask ain't really mine
It shows the best part of me
And the world is just as distressed as me
But hey, I'm working on it
People gather round I say
I can't fix you up today
Lalala
Never mind the shit you're in
You'll feel a bit better if you sing
Lalala Lalala
Magic Carpet Ride (Demo)
Looking good and in good working order
If you got a trick up your sleeve you better show it
You're looking good and in good working order
If you got a magic wand well use it, baby
If you had some wishes but never told a soul
I say you're a wizard
You can make dreams come true
Magic carpet ride, do not hide
Go skinny dipping, have the best of times
Magic carpet ride, do not hide
But shine
Looking good and in good working order
It's a kind of magic how you woo me, baby
Looking good and in good working order
If you got those dancing shoes
Then beat the drum and move
If you had some wishes but never told a soul
I say you're the captain
You're in control of your
Magic carpet ride, do not hide
Go skinny dipping, have the best of times
Magic carpet ride, do not hide
But shine
Shine
Shine
Shine
Deliver This Envelope
No tall, no tall buildings
No fast, no fastfood chains
And underneath my powerful attempts to break with it
The longing still remains
No fight, no fighting neighbours
No boys, no boys or girls
And underneath the sheets I've buried wishes and goals
A wish to see the world
And to carry this child
To deliver this envelope
Full of my love
Full of hope
I have forgotten where to now
I have forgotten my name
I have forgotten the pleasures
Will I feel happy again
No man, no man for a daddy
No warm, no warm embrace
And underneath these rocks I'm playing dead secretly
But I'm longing to show my face
No rain, no rainbow out there
No pot, no pot of gold
And underneath the carpet I've swept all the mistakes
I think I do, want to get old
And to carry this child
To deliver this envelope
Full of my love
Full of hope
I have forgotten where to now
I have forgotten my name
I have forgotten the pleasures
Will I be happy again
'Cause I have forgotten where to now
I have forgotten my name
I have forgotten the pleasures
Will I be happy again
Will I be happy again
Here's to Hoping for the Best
Looked it in the eye
And thought of impossible things
Like the healing of hearts
That were forever scarred
Lost in a spin and left in the dark
They grew so cold and expected nothing more
And they gave up hope
Here's to hoping for the best
And here's to hoping for the happily ever after
Here's to hoping hope will remain
Like a powerful refrain
Let it come back to us
Whoever needs it the most
Whoever needs it the most
Open arms and open eyes
Toss away the fear
And find the will to try
Those mountains are forever calling me now
And I'll climb
The rest of my life
But here's to hoping for the best
And here's to hoping for the happily ever after
Here's to hoping hope will remain
Like a powerful refrain
Let it come back to us
Whoever needs it the most
Whoever needs it the mos
It's True
Falling for those eyes
Falling for the nose
Falling for the heart
I suppose
Stolen was your heart
Stolen was your smile
If you were mine
I could be lovely, yes
But I'd drive you nuts
I'd drive you round the bend
Show you a kind of love
That you wouldn't understand
And it isn't good
I don't think I'd be any good
Caring for myself is hard enough, it's true
But I do care for you
Clean away the shame
Clean away the pain
Clean away the tears
That I've shed
Stolen was my pride
Stolen was my faith
If you were mine
You could be lovely, yes
But you'd drive me nuts
You'd drive me round the bend
Show me a kind of love
That I wouldn't understand
And it isn't good
I don't think I'd be any good
Caring for yourself is hard enough, it's true
But I do care for you
Oh I'd drive you nuts
I'd drive you round the bend
Show you a kind of love
That you wouldn't understand
And it isn't good
I don't think we'd be any good
Caring for myself is hard enough, it's true
But I do care for you
Whatever's the Matter (Soundscape)
Instrumental
Early Morning Song
In love with one that isn't
And not in love with one that is
Please mother nature be kind
And help me out a little bit
Just because it's cozy to share the evening
Just because it's warmer and nice in your bed
Because your fingers they light up my skin
And you make my cheeks tingle
With the things you've said
I like you
I like you
And I liked you so much
I didn't realize all this time
I was in love
I like you
I like you
And I liked you so much
I didn't realize all this time
I was in love
I'm in love with one that isn't
And not in love with one that is
Please mother nature be kind
Help me out a little bit
Just because it's cozy to share the evening
Just because it's warmer and nice in your bed
Because your fingers they light up my skin
And you make my cheeks tingle
With the things you've said
I like you
I like you
And I liked you so much
Didn't realize all this time
I was in love
I like you
I like you
And I liked you so much
Didn't realize all this time
I was in love
Didn't realize all this time
I was in love
Slow Down
Oh I don't know you
And I don't know the road that we're on
Oh I don't know you
I'm not used to taking it slow
I'm ussually speeding down the lane
Falling in love and feeling quite insane
But something's telling me
To slow down, slow down
Some things are meant to grow
While you slow down, slow down
Oh I don't know when
And I don't know how to go from here
Oh I don't know 'cause I not used to anybody
making themselves so clear
I'm getting to know your tender way
But how can I trust that's how you'll stay
Something's telling me
To slow down, slow down
Some things are meant to grow
While you slow down, slow down
I'm gonna take it from here
Follow the signs
If I find on the horizon
I'll know with all my heart
You are mine
Something's telling me
To slow down, slow down
Some things are meant to grow
While you slow down, slow down
Something is telling me
I need to take my time
Hold On
We're dancing in the shade all day long
We hug and play and sing silly songs
And when the sun let's the moon shine
You're in my arms and I know you're mine
Just tell me stories about the sea
How happy you were when you met me
And sing the songs that I've held so dear
Your loving whisper, warm in my ear
Let's hold on my love
There's no need for you to be uptight
Hold on my love
We will hold eachother tonight
Hold on to me
And I'll hold onto you
Hold on to me
And I'll hold onto you
We hold the love so tight in our hands
And cherish all the time that we have
I reassure you, just so you know
Love will be here, love won't go
Let's hold on my love
There's no need for you to be uptight
Hold on my love
We will hold eachother tonight
Hold on to me
And I'll hold onto you
Hold on to me
And I'll hold onto you
Hold on to me
And I'll hold onto you
I'll hold onto you
Unscrew Me
Screw the fact that she's gonna have your baby
Screw the fact that she's been screwing you
Screw the fact that you wouldn't want any other
Screw the facts although they're true
Screw the fact that I could live my life without you
Screw the fact that I could be real happy too
Screw the fact that I could get any other lover
Screw it, 'cause I want you
Screw the fact that she's got a good set of brains on her shoulders
Screw it that she's more capable than me
Screw it, I'm a loose cannon and a whirling dervish
Screw it, unscrew me
Screw the fact that she's stronger and prettier
Screw the fact that you chose her above me
Screw the possibility that you were
Screwing her eyeballs out in the midst of sheep and trees
And if you think you're like a book, that I've read and returned
If you think you're like a loveletter that I'll burn
You got the wrong end of the stick, 'cause that's not how it goes
You'll stick like a frog in my throat
And if you think you're like a book, that I've read and returned
If you think you're like a loveletter that I'll burn
You got the wrong end of the stick, 'cause it's not how it goes
You'll stick like a frog in my throat
Screw the fact that she's gonna have your baby
Screw the fact that she's been screwing you
Screw the fact that you wouldn't want any other
Screw the facts, I want you
Loveliest Friend
I found you back last night
And you were laughing and talking and smiling
Like we hadn't missed a beat
All those years, dissapeared and we were there
Like we never said goodbye
You know, you were the prettiest
You know, you were the loveliest friend
Madness like sadness, kicks its heels in the sand
Looking at us trying to run that extra mile
Headed one direction
You found yourself in a backward situation
With your head playing tricks on you again
And you were doing so well
You know, you were the prettiest friend
You know, you were the loveliest friend
Googling your name but I never find anything
Could it be you found a way out like Marianne
And a big train
Googling your name but I never find anything
Could it be you found a way out like Marianne
And a big train
Loco, loco, locomotive
I don't mind you visiting me at night
It's my only chance to see that smile again
'Cause I've no clue, where you are
And if you're still in the real world
Then maybe you've losst your head
You know, you were the prettiest
You know, you were the loveliest friend
Googling your name but I never find anything
Could it be you found your way out like Marianne
And a big train
Googling your name but I never find anything
Could it be you found a way out like Marianne
And a big train
Loco, loco, locomotive
You know, you were the loveliest friend
But where did that get you in the end
This Dung (Demo)
We got a lot of bullshit
And so later I was used to
Throwing myself in the dung
Wether it had a scent or didn't
Wether it was the best manure
It was all I knew, it was all I knew
I trusted myself to roll in it
Like it was money, it was wine
But then it started to smell fishy
When I woke up and I realised
It is my time
So, don't give me shit
I had enough of it
You've been saving it up in a plastic cup
Sling your hook, get outta my face
Grace, grace, grace, you're a disgrace
We got a lot of bullshit
And so later I was used to
We got a lot of bullshit, bullshit
And so later I was used to
Throwing myself in the dung
Wether it had a scent or didn't
Wether it was the best manure
It was all I knew, it was all I knew
I trusted myself to roll in it
Like it was money, it was wine
And then it started to smell fishy
When I woke up and I realised
It is my time
So, don't give me shit
I had enough of it
You've been saving it up in a plastic cup
Sling your hook, get outta my face
Grace, grace, grace, you are a disgrace
Me In Yours, Darling
Happy, happy
Just to see you
Just to watch you be yourself
Happy, happy
Just to hear you
Call out my name
It sounds better that way
Happy, happy
Just to know you
Can be at ease when I'm around
Happy, happy
Just to hold you
And my arms are happy, happy
Cause they found you in there
You in my arms and me in yours, darling
You in my arms and me in yours
You in my arms and me in yours, darling
You in my arms and me in yours
Happy, happy
Just to be here
Just to sit and hold your hand
Happy, happy
To be quiet
No words could say
What I'm feeling for you
You in my arms and me in yours, darling
You in my arms and me in yours
You in my arms and me in yours, darling
You in my arms and me in yours
You in my arms and me in yours, darling
You in my arms and me in yours
You in my arms and me in yours, darling
You in my arms and me in yours
Wet Paws Do Dry
Paws in the snow
Darling it'll be freezing
And you don't wanna go
But there's no other way
'Cause if you stay you'll be bored
Out of your mind
And if you stay
You'll have cold feet anyway
If you travel through the storm
You'll find your own way home and
Don't worry babe
Wet paws do dry
Paws in the rain
Better get out that raincoat
I know you'll come back again
But now there's just no way
'Cause if you stay you'll be bored
Out of your mind
And if you stay
You'll have cold feet anyway
If you travel through the storm
You'll find your own way home and
Don't worry babe
Wet paws do dry
Your cold feet will warm up
Cold feet will warm
And you won't be frightened
And you won't be afraid anymore
Your cold feet will warm up
Cold feet will warm
And you won't be frightened
And you won't be afraid anymore
Your cold feet will warm up
Cold feet will warm
And you won't be frightened
And you won't be afraid anymore
And you won't be frightened
And you won't be afraid anymore
And you won't be frightened
And you won't be frightened